A Mother's Day Reflection

Eighteen years ago, I had dreams of what my life would look like….I would have 3 kids before I was 30…I would be a stay at home mother  after I taught for  3 years. Instead, I taught for 7 years, then had time to go back to school for a Master’s in Educational Management, and became an Assistant Principal for 4 years. I was stretched, and blessed with encouragement, through co-workers who loved Jesus.

 For seven years, Mother’s Day was a day of celebrating my own wonderful mother, but also one of longing to be a mother myself…a day where I willed myself to choose gratitude for what I did have, and look forward to what God would bring.

 Long before God gave us our own children through adoption, he gave us the youth at GHCC. What a joy they were to us…going to retreats, athletic events, parties, lock-ins, baptisms, graduations, even the sorrows and tears shared, and shed for those we loved and lost…and learning about God and others together. I can remember to this day the Mother’s Day cards I received and cherished, and the lessons learned about life and family during that time. They will never be forgotten! And “our kids” will always have a place in our hearts.

  I’ll be forty in a week, and blessed to be the mother of 2 beautiful children crafted just for me. I had a good plan, but God had a different, much broader plan, one I’m so glad He created; to teach me about Him, to loosen my grip of selfish expectations and to give the freedom from fear of the unknown in order to experience and display His glory in a way that my plans never could have done.                

 The journey to growing our family has changed my life forever, and set Christ’s presence and grace so deep within me that I long for more…for heaven. Anything I felt I have lost, I have gained that much more for having known Christ better and been loved so deeply through the losses.

 In every season, God has a purpose for us, and we have a choice to make (sometimes one day at a time). Will we allow the sweet presence of Jesus and the grace from the cross to speak truth, and breathe life into our struggling souls?

 May our losses and disappointments continually bring us to the grace, wisdom, freedom and peace that only a life surrendered by God could accomplish.

 Having your fingers pried off something you long for…that you are clinging to, can be painful and disappointing. But, when it’s God who is doing the prying, the end result is freedom…the freedom to hold onto the good He has for you…Himself, a new dream, the hope of heaven…and peace for life here on earth.

Revelation 7:12
Blessing and glory and wisdom, thanksgiving and honor and power and might, be to our God forever and ever. Amen.

Trusting Him Just the Same

With tears in my eyes, I thanked God for my two kids today, who have taught me to trust Jesus in all things. I trusted God when He said He had a good plan for me.
I kept trusting Him when I couldn’t bear children and the years wore on, and I saw His loving hand upon my grieving heart. He was saving my tears.
I still trusted when He led us to adoption. I trusted while I waited and waited.  I trusted He would provide the finances and the child He had planned for us. He did!
I trusted Him when I wanted to adopt again but the timing wasn’t right. I trusted while I waited and waited some more.
I trusted Him when He began working on us to adopt a sibling group, even when I really didn’t see how we could, or if we should.
I trusted when He chose 3 sweet children whom we loved and lost; I trusted when He took us all the way to Colombia and back, empty-handed.  I trusted in His deep love for me and our children.
I trusted, and praised God for what He would do, even when I couldn’t see. I trusted while I waited again.
I trusted Him when he brought along a new little life, one who was really sick.
I trusted God on the day I was told he had bleeding in his brain, and a blood clot, and they couldn’t tell me if he would be okay.
I trusted God when He said to keep trusting, even when I couldn’t see, even when I could’ve made the choice to quit. I trusted, and waited.
I’m trusting God today for what I can’t see for tomorrow, and thanking Him that He can!
I have learned that I can trust God in all things; for in all things He loves, He provides, He gives, He plans, He heals, He never changes!

The practice of trust in times like these, has brought a strength to my soul, a peace that only God could bring, a love for my Jesus, and an excitement for heaven, that no other circumstances and no other choices could have brought.

 I can trust Him because I know He loves me!

Out of the Hospital

Psalm 111: 1-5 “I will praise the Lord with my whole heart…The works of the Lord are great, studied by all who have pleasure in them. His work is honorable and glorious, and His righteousness endures forever. He has made His wonderful works to be remembered; the Lord is gracious and full of compassion.” After 43 days in the NICU, Cannon was released on Monday, and we are spending a few days with Robert’s cousin in TN while interstate adoption papers are filed.
In February, we asked you to join us in prayer for Cannon and our family as the Lord took us through some challenging days.

Here is how God answered!

Weekly ultrasounds have shown that the clot continues to decrease with no new areas of concern.
He has had no other seizures; he will be on seizure medication until we follow-up with the neurologist in April.
Cannon has reached 9 lbs, and is eating and sleeping well!
The neurologist does not expect any significant long-term issues at this time.
What God has promised to provide, we have received! His faithfulness has been evident in overwhelming peace, strength, and wisdom for each day. He provided professional and caring nurses and doctors who cared for Cannon and for us.
Cannon’s verses on his crib were read, and commented on, by countless nurses, doctors and volunteers, and probably other parents who had babies right next to him.
God granted Caitlin the grace to be flexible when needed, and for us to be sensitive to her needs during the last 6 weeks. She is thrilled to be able to hold and feed Cannon, and has already been a big help. Good luck being able to hold him if she’s around; she’s very protective. J
What’s ahead?

Daily medication for seizures;  blood thinners (the blood thinner is an injection in his little belly 2 times a day; we are both learning to be brave, but with all he’s gone through, he has a pretty high pain tolerance.)

Follow up with the neurologist and hematologist.

Enjoying each day together as a family, continuing to be grateful and praising God for what He has done, and growing by grace in this next season of life while remembering “the works of the Lord”.

God's Safety

Cannon's verse for the week: Psalm 4:8 "I will both lie down in peace, and sleep; for You, O Lord, make me dwell in safety." He truly has kept Cannon safe; the blood clot is continuing to decrease and the doctor thinks he will be out of the hospital sometime next week. We praise God for all He is doing!

Guardianship papers signed!

One more step is past us as we signed guardianship papers for Cannon yesterday. Cannon's verse for this week (that will join Jer. 29:11 and Lamentations 3:22-25 on his crib) is Eph. 3:20-21. "Now to Him who is able to do exceedingly abundantly above all that we ask or think...to Him be the glory in the church by Christ Jesus to all generations, forever and ever. Amen."We thank God for His attention and care about the details of Cannon's health and adoption. He is showing Himself to be faithful every day in many ways!

This little light of mine

Cannon's sweet nurse this morning said she read him his verses we have posted on his crib, and sang "Great is Thy Faithfulness" to him after his bottle. So touched by God's care, a nurse's sweet spirit, and the light we can be here at the MED during our extended stay. God's love shines in all places! Cannon, God is using you to spread His light!

God's Protection

"When something in your life makes you anxious, come to Me and talk about it...though the lessons of trust that I send you come wrapped in difficulties, the benefits far outweigh the cost." (Sarah Young) We are experiencing God's peace and strength, and He is answering our prayers for healing for Cannon. The blood clot has decreased significantly with no further bleeding. The neurologists expect a positive long-term outcome for him. We are so grateful and praise Him for His perfect plan for Cannon. Thank you for continuing in prayer with us!